11.12.10
scared…..
I know something is wrong… my husband keeps telling me that everything is going to be ok. Ive prayed and prayed. and find myself at a loss for words.
I look at Apollo and I see the light starting to fade. I keep telling myself that its not time yet. He’s getting up moving around and eating his food… he’s got to be ok… In the back of my mind I know that this darn cancer is still there… making it harder and harder for him to breathe. I keep searching for information on what I should be looking for so that I know when he is ready. the big question is will I be ready to let him go.
Time seems to not be on our side.
November 12, 2010 at 2:21 am
bless your heart. it’s so hard to keep the faith when we can’t push the doubt and fear from our minds. remember that fear is a stealer of joy. apollo doesn’t understand the fear, he doesn’t know what cancer is, he only knows that he loves you unconditionally, and you love him unconditionally. sometimes it may seem that love isn’t enough, but in the end it’s what really matters. enjoy each and every moment with this beautiful boy, keep saying your prayers and know that none of us can predict the future. we are sending blessings and gayle ‘juju’ your way.
charon & gayle
November 12, 2010 at 2:43 am
Many have commented with helpful advice on our review of the last few days we had with Jerry. And this topic we started long before it was his time has more than 40 replies: Question yourself to prepare for loss. For more help coping with the anticipatory grief you’re feeling read The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer.
Welcome and best wishes for the decisions you face. Best advice is to try your best to be more Dog. Consider posting in the Coping With Loss discussion forum for more support from this community.
November 12, 2010 at 6:52 am
Being scared is OK, because it helps to think about how you will handle the sad inevitable. Just remember though, that all we have is today, and that’s the only thing that matters to Apollo.
Follow his lead, you can’t go wrong. Hugs coming your way, we totally understand.
November 12, 2010 at 1:15 pm
All those replies are very well said. I am so sorry you are experiencing this with Apollo. I wish I could help you, the only thing I can do is tell you we are all in the same boat.
I too have faith in God. I really believe that faith is what will help you through this. I think we have been given these beautiful beings to love and take care of. It is no coincidence that God spelled backwards is dog. I think that our puppies love us unconditionally, like we are loved by God. His time here with you shouldn’t be marred by fear, hold on to each moment and love him and help him through it. I know it seems unbearable thinking about the loss of him. So I would say when you can’t handle those thoughts, give them over to God and lean on him. In the meantime, love your boy and know that no matter what happens, you are together now, and you will be together again.
Many prayers for you and yours,
Elizabeth and Sammy